dudewheresmypie:

ATTENTION: THIS IS AN NOT A TEST
Authorities believe that a dangerous blood-borne virus is to blame for the sudden spike in both murders and deaths in recent weeks in and around Kansas City.  It is thought to be the same virus discovered in River Grove, Oregon where at least twenty people were discovered dead in 2006.  Scientists have made no comments about whether this is the same strain found in the Niveus Pharmaceuticals swine flu vaccine in 2010.  Authorities are calling the virus “Croatoan.” 
Speculations that this may be an premeditated attack of biological warfare has forced government officials to take action.  By order of Acting Regional Command, residents of Kansas City and outline areas are required to evacuate by August 1st, 2014.  Entry to the area will be prohibited and strictly enforced beginning that date.  Displaced residents in need of shelter are urged to contact their local law enforcement.  All evacuees will be asked to provide identification and may be subject to onsite medial testing.  Any evacuees resisting official directives will be detained.  Authorities urge residents to use marked evacuation routes to maintain efficiency.
Sources say that victims of the virus are known to be physically aggressive and show a drive to attack others. If you encounter an infected individual, DO NOT ENGAGE. Contact local law enforcement immediately and seek refuge.
Please, do your part and spread the word.  Your safety, and the safety of your neighbors, is our number one concern.

dudewheresmypie:

ATTENTION: THIS IS AN NOT A TEST

Authorities believe that a dangerous blood-borne virus is to blame for the sudden spike in both murders and deaths in recent weeks in and around Kansas City.  It is thought to be the same virus discovered in River Grove, Oregon where at least twenty people were discovered dead in 2006.  Scientists have made no comments about whether this is the same strain found in the Niveus Pharmaceuticals swine flu vaccine in 2010.  Authorities are calling the virus “Croatoan.” 

Speculations that this may be an premeditated attack of biological warfare has forced government officials to take action.  By order of Acting Regional Command, residents of Kansas City and outline areas are required to evacuate by August 1st, 2014.  Entry to the area will be prohibited and strictly enforced beginning that date.  Displaced residents in need of shelter are urged to contact their local law enforcement.  All evacuees will be asked to provide identification and may be subject to onsite medial testing.  Any evacuees resisting official directives will be detained.  Authorities urge residents to use marked evacuation routes to maintain efficiency.

Sources say that victims of the virus are known to be physically aggressive and show a drive to attack others. If you encounter an infected individual, DO NOT ENGAGE. Contact local law enforcement immediately and seek refuge.

Please, do your part and spread the word.  Your safety, and the safety of your neighbors, is our number one concern.

thats-slightly-raven:

THIS FUCKING 8 YEAR OLD GIRL JUST BEAT ME 11 TIMES AT SLED RACING ON CLUB PENGUIN I AM 16 WHY CANT I EVEN BEAT A CHILD AT A GAME FOR 7 YEAR OLDS FUCK YOU KAYLA2005 FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING CLUB PENGUIN MEMBERSHIP AND YOUR SLED RACING SKILLS AND YOUR RAINBOW PUFFLE FUCK YOU FUCK CLUB PENGUIN I HATE YOU

out of all the things i could be bad at why does it have to be sleeping
why
WHY

*strums guitar*
why am i awake at 3am
why are baguettes so delicious
*sings into baguette riffing terribly*
yeeah yeyaah yaAaAaa
WHY DONT MY PARENTS LOVE ME
*strums guitar*

Wonder Woman is there to kick ass not give you a boner

favorite response to some dude saying the Wonder Woman costume isn’t sexy enough on Facebook (via elizabetholsens)